I ran across this somewhere, and thought it presented some food for thought. A group of divorcees were asked what would they have done differently in the failed marriages. Here’s what they said.
• I’d have boosted my spouse’s mood at every opportunity. We so often wait for the other person to boost our mood, then blame them when they don’t.
• I’d have talked about money. Underneath the discussion of money is the discussion of priorities – how are we going to spend our time and money?
• I’d get over the past. So many couples, locked in discord, remember and recite the past indiscretions over and over.
• I’d blame the relationship, not my spouse. In other words, I’d see that the relationship we’d set up was fundamentally flawed, and go about fixing it, rather than blame my spouse for being a bad person.
• I’d reveal more about myself. Undergirding self-revelation is trust. People enter intimate relationships with varying amounts of trust. A healthy, growing relationship requires partners to constantly grow in their abilities to trust one another.
• I’d have boosted my spouse’s mood at every opportunity. We so often wait for the other person to boost our mood, then blame them when they don’t.
• I’d have talked about money. Underneath the discussion of money is the discussion of priorities – how are we going to spend our time and money?
• I’d get over the past. So many couples, locked in discord, remember and recite the past indiscretions over and over.
• I’d blame the relationship, not my spouse. In other words, I’d see that the relationship we’d set up was fundamentally flawed, and go about fixing it, rather than blame my spouse for being a bad person.
• I’d reveal more about myself. Undergirding self-revelation is trust. People enter intimate relationships with varying amounts of trust. A healthy, growing relationship requires partners to constantly grow in their abilities to trust one another.